The Villains All Fell in Love with Me After Rebirth : Chapter 84 - Doubt
Chapter 84: Doubt
Ji Ling stared blankly at Ning Yue.
The young man’s handsome features were cast in shadow under the dim lighting, except for his dark eyes, which held a soft, quiet warmth.
Ji Ling’s face instantly flushed red. W-why are you suddenly telling me your secret? We’re not even that close. Why would you share it with me?
His heart pounded wildly. He quickly turned his head back to the movie, pretending he hadn’t heard anything.
Ning Yu watched him freeze for a moment before turning away to avoid his gaze. After a brief silence, he, too, resumed watching the movie as if nothing had happened.
But… do you really not know about us at all? Are you truly unaware of my feelings? Or… have you noticed, but you just don’t want to admit it?
Whichever it is…
Ning Yu closed his eyes briefly, hiding the disappointment in them. Then, he let out a quiet, helpless chuckle. You really haven’t changed at all…
You’re still not ready.
Ji Ling kept his eyes fixed on the screen, appearing completely focused. But in reality, his attention remained on the young man beside him. His emotions were a tangled mess of nervousness, curiosity, and confusion. He stubbornly resisted the urge to look back.
He was deeply conflicted, yet he didn’t even know why.
Did he want to know? Did he not want to know? Or… was he afraid of knowing?
Ji Ling had no answer.
He didn’t even understand why he was struggling so much—why he couldn’t just reject Ning Yue as straightforwardly as he had rejected Mr. Fu before.
By the time the movie ended, it was already late at night. Ji Ling didn’t refuse Ning Yue’s offer to drive him home. Before long, the car pulled up outside his apartment building.
The night breeze blew gently, seeming to cool the lingering tension in the air, leaving only a quiet sense of calm.
Ji Ling suddenly recalled their first meeting at Ning Kehan’s villa—how he had mistaken Ning Yue’s name for Ning Yu and had been startled. That night, too, Ning Yue had driven him home.
Back then… what was I thinking?
Ji Ling glanced at the man beside him, then quickly averted his eyes. In a low voice, he said, “Thank you… for today.”
Ning Yu gazed at the boy’s delicate features, his shy demeanor, and smiled softly. “I should be the one thanking you… for giving me a chance.”
Ji Ling’s face turned red again. He had no idea how to respond, so he simply turned and left.
When he got home, his parents were already asleep. He quietly slipped into his room and was about to wash up when his phone chimed. It was a message from Ning Yue: I had a great time tonight. Also… good night.
Ji Ling hesitated, then walked over to the window. Peeking through the curtains, he saw that Ning Yue’s car was still parked outside.
A strong, undeniable feeling surged in his heart again.
The secret you want to tell me… what is it?
And why… do you like me?
His fingers hovered over his phone. He almost asked the question, but after a long moment of hesitation, he simply typed two words: Good night.
Sitting in his car, Ning Yu tilted his head slightly, looking up at the boy’s apartment.
In the window, a slim silhouette was faintly visible under the glow of the room’s light. After a moment, it disappeared, and his phone vibrated with a reply.
Ning Yu looked at the simple two-word response and slowly smiled.
You’re such a kind-hearted boy. What I really wanted to tell you… is that I’m truly happy. Happy that you can finally live freely, be yourself, do what you want—without pretending to be someone else, without forcing yourself to act against your own heart.
Only now do I realize… back then, you were helpless. And I, in the end, was just a fool who didn’t know when to stop…
But at least… you came back.
And in the end, you didn’t lie to me.
That’s the one thing that made me happiest, even after wandering across the world for years to come.
Since you don’t want to stay in my world… then I’ll come to yours.
That’s fine too.
………………
Ji Ling returned to school, quickly immersing himself in his busy and fulfilling student life.
Ning Yue didn’t press him. He would send him a message now and then—saying good night occasionally, sharing photos of delicious food he had eaten, saying, If you like it, I’ll take you next time… Even the frequency of his messages wasn’t overwhelming. Sometimes, when Ji Ling got too busy and forgot to reply, Ning Yue wouldn’t ask or call excessively.
This made Ji Ling feel at ease. It really was like they were just friends.
If Ning Yue hadn’t openly confessed his feelings before… if he didn’t constantly remind Ji Ling of Ning Yu… Ji Ling might have even forgotten that this person was pursuing him.
One evening, Ji Ling had a late class. He hurried to the cafeteria, only to find it packed with long lines. Wang Yixin and the others went to find a table, leaving Ji Ling to queue up. And that was when he unexpectedly ran into Wen Yan.
Senior Yu Wenyan looked as elegant and gentle as ever. He gazed at Ji Ling, his phoenix eyes curving slightly as he smiled. “You're back.”
Ji Ling also smiled, then suddenly remembered that Yu Wenyan's school had previously invited him to discuss game concept art. But because he had felt awkward, he had run away at the time, and after returning, he hadn't taken the initiative to contact the other party. This made him feel a little embarrassed… Moreover, Senior Yu Wenyan was, aside from Ning Kehan, the only one who knew he was being pursued by a man. He had no idea what Yu Wenyan thought of that.
This made Ji Ling somewhat uneasy.
Wenyan's gaze darkened slightly as he looked at Ji Ling. He had actually been following Ji Ling’s movements all along. When he learned that Ji Ling had left, he had considered going after him. But his rationality stopped him. If he had really done that… he would have been hated, wouldn't he?
The boy probably wasn’t ready to accept that he had come to this world.
That’s right—Wen Yan had also discovered that novel.
After reading it, he realized that he was merely a character in a book. But Ji Ling probably wasn’t. His many differences from his novel counterpart, the actions he took that didn’t match the original plot, all indicated that Ji Ling actually belonged to this world… That seemed to explain why he could be so at ease here. And in this world, he seemed more like his true self—his eyes shining brighter, more dazzling.
Because this was his real world.
His home.
So you already knew what kind of person I am. You knew the filth and despicableness in my heart. You knew how I betrayed and hurt you… Yet you didn’t care about any of that. You never looked down on me…
You never despised me, never hated me… You tried to get along with me peacefully, while I only disappointed you. I hurt you just to have you.
But even so, in the end, you still protected me.
Pain slowly tugged at Wen Yan's heart…
You came from a distant world and gave me redemption, teaching me what it means to love someone, to respect someone.
I don’t actually have the right to desire your love.
But how fortunate I am to have come to your world…
To meet you again.
“Senior Yu, about the game you mentioned last time, when would you be available to discuss it?” Ji Ling blinked. He felt that since Senior Yu was being kind, he should be proactive. Ignoring it entirely would be disrespectful.
Wen Yan snapped out of his thoughts, gazing at Ji Ling's slightly nervous and embarrassed expression. The boy's warmth and kindness seeped into his cold heart through wounds that had never truly healed, making him feel his own existence… You're still just as gentle.
His voice was hoarse as he said, “Anytime is fine.”
Ji Ling said, “Then how about tonight?”
Wen Yan nodded.
Ji Ling breathed a sigh of relief and gave a shy smile. Just then, it was his turn in line, so he quickly went to get his food. By the time he came out, Senior Yu was gone, so he carried his tray to join Wang Yixin and the others for dinner.
The afternoon classes passed quickly.
After dinner, Ji Ling went to the library and found a quiet corner before messaging Senior Yu about his location.
About ten minutes later, Wen Yan arrived, carrying some documents in his hands.
Ji Ling stood up and waved at him with a smile.
Wen Yan returned the smile and sat down across from him, speaking softly, “Did you wait long?”
Ji Ling shook his head. “No, I just got here.”
“Mm… Then let me introduce the game first. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic future where survivors form military groups to fight zombies. Players can choose different roles to form teams…” Wen Yan lowered his gaze and methodically went over the details, pulling out his materials as he spoke.
Ji Ling was very focused when working. He listened carefully and occasionally raised questions.
After talking for over ten minutes, Wenyan finally said, “For these character designs, you can sketch them based on your understanding and show me when you're done.”
Ji Ling bit the tip of his pen in thought, then said, “Hold on.”
During Senior Yu’s explanation, he had mentioned a strategist character—calm and composed, planning before acting, preferring to stay in the shadows to strike at enemies. For some reason, Ji Ling immediately thought of Wen Yan. It fit him so well…
Though this character wasn’t the strongest in combat among the monstrous figures, he was definitely cunning and devious enough!
Ji Ling picked up his pen and started sketching in his notebook. Soon, a silver-haired man with a long ponytail, his features sharp and androgynous, appeared on the page. Perhaps because he was too familiar with the subject, the drawing came effortlessly.
When Ji Ling put down his pen and looked up, he was surprised to find Wen Yan staring at him intently. In those deep, dark eyes, an unreadable emotion lurked. Ji Ling froze. “Senior Yu, what's wrong?”
Wen Yan was far from calm as he gazed at Ji Ling.
You still remember my appearance so clearly. Can I dare to hope… that you’ve thought about me before?
But I also know the truth. To you, I have only ever been an object of pity.
At least… you haven’t forgotten me, have you?
His voice was hoarse. “Your drawing looks great. This is—”
Ji Ling glanced between Wen Yan and his sketch. In his excitement, he had drawn it without thinking. Now that he reconsidered, it didn’t seem appropriate.
Had he just violated someone’s portrait rights?!
He quickly closed his sketchbook and hesitated before saying, “Never mind. I don’t think this one turned out well. I’ll redraw it. It’s late today, so I’ll email you the final version when it’s done, okay?”
Wen Yan’s voice was slightly strained. “I think it looks really good…”
“Really?” Ji Ling didn’t want to dwell on the past from that world. He didn’t want to mix that world with reality. Lately, he was already troubled enough—why add more unnecessary worries? He smiled. “Let’s talk about it next time.”
Wen Yan saw through Ji Ling’s evasiveness and reluctance. The words on the tip of his tongue never made it out.
He really wanted to reveal his identity, but he was afraid of scaring the boy—afraid that if he found out he had also come to his world, he would distance himself and become wary of him. He wouldn't be able to interact with him naturally and as equals like they did now. He cherished this time and everything about it, unwilling to break the status quo, which left him feeling deeply conflicted and tormented.
He wanted to get closer to everything,
Yet he was afraid that, in a moment of impulse, he might lose even what he had now.
So Wen Yan could only nod and say, “Okay.”
Ji Ling said goodbye to his senior and left the library, returning to his dorm.
He flopped onto his bed in exhaustion, closed his eyes, and recalled the information Wen Yan had given him, thinking about how he should approach his drawing. But instead, the faces of the people from that world kept appearing in his mind—especially those protagonists and supporting characters, each one unforgettable… Was the truth simply that they were too good-looking, which made it impossible for him to forget them?
Ji Ling smacked himself on the head. Ugh, seriously, get a grip!
………………
As it turned out, ever since that day, Ji Ling had been frequently ‘running into’ Senior Yu Wen Yan at the cafeteria.
Wen Yan said that he was usually busy, so discussing the game over meals would be convenient. Ji Ling figured that made sense—after all, he couldn’t keep making his senior set aside special time just to meet with him, right? Discussing work while eating in the cafeteria seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do.
The only thing that made Ji Ling a little self-conscious was that Senior Yu always got his food for him and waited at the cafeteria. Over time, Wang Yixin and the others stopped eating with him out of embarrassment. They even teased him, saying that Senior Yu was publicly coming out of the closet and might actually like men—so Ji Ling had better be careful in case he got targeted.
They were joking, but Ji Ling took it to heart. He felt even more awkward around Yu Wenyan, but the senior had never acted in that way. If he brought it up and it turned out to be a misunderstanding, wouldn’t that just make things super awkward for both of them?
Besides, Ji Ling really didn’t want people from that world to appear in his current life. He liked the peace he had now.
He didn’t want to be fought over again. He didn’t want his life to be thrown into chaos.
And that guy... he was a paranoid lunatic. If he really came to this world, who knew what he’d become? Had he learned how to behave like a normal person?
Days passed in the blink of an eye.
After class, Wang Yixin and the others planned to eat out. Before leaving, Wang Yixin grinned at Ji Ling. “Better hurry to the cafeteria—Senior Yu is probably waiting for you.”
Zheng Lin added, “I think he’s courting you.”
Chen Ming smirked. “He’s openly come out before. What if he really likes you?”
Ji Ling’s face darkened. “Stop talking nonsense.”
Wang Yixin laughed. “How is it nonsense? Who else would wait for you every single day?”
Zheng Lin said, “You’ve got a point…”
Chen Ming added, “I can’t even argue with that…”
Ji Ling: “…”
Suddenly, he didn’t feel like going to the cafeteria anymore.
As Ji Ling hesitated, his classmates laughed and walked away. Lost in thought, he wandered down the tree-lined path, only to accidentally bump into someone. He looked up in surprise. “Mr. Field?”
The brown-haired, brown-eyed man smiled at him with an elegant curve of his lips. “What were you thinking about? You weren’t even watching where you were going.”
Ji Ling chuckled awkwardly. “Nothing much. What brings you here?”
He had thought the man had long since returned to his home country.
Carlos sighed softly. “You never contacted me, so I had no choice but to come find you myself. It seems you haven’t considered my previous proposal.”
Ji Ling suddenly remembered—he really had forgotten all about it…
Carlos looked a little disappointed, but he still spoke gently. “I don’t mean to rush you. If you’re not ready to sign with my gallery, you could at least sell me your paintings. I truly love your work and hope to always see your latest pieces.”
Ji Ling felt even more embarrassed. He never thought his art was good enough to deserve such persistent requests from someone like Mr. Field. Besides, this man was way too generous, which was precisely why Ji Ling hadn’t sold to him yet.
Sure, he was just a student, but he wasn’t desperate for money.
Something about the whole situation just felt… off.
After all, sudden overnight wealth never seemed real, did it?
But Mr. Field’s sincerity was hard to refuse. After some hesitation, Ji Ling pulled a rolled-up sketch from his backpack and shyly said, “If you really like my work, you can have this one as a gift…”
Carlos’s eyes softened, though a trace of sadness flickered in them.
You are so kind and thoughtful in every way… except when it comes to one thing—you refuse to accept my love.
Carlos took the sketch and unrolled it. It was a beautiful landscape, not a scene from that other world, but still full of vitality and life.
He glanced at the embarrassed boy before him. Instead of insisting on buying the painting, he simply accepted the gift with a smile. “Thank you. I love it… By the way, are you free tonight?”
Ji Ling instinctively answered, “No, I don’t have anything planned…”
Carlos’s smile deepened. “I’d like to take you out for dinner as a thank-you. Would I have the honor?”
Ji Ling nearly bit his tongue. Oh crap, why didn’t I just lie?!
But he had already said he was free. If he refused now, it would be too awkward. So he reluctantly said, “…You’re too kind.”
Carlos chuckled. “It’s only proper to return kindness with kindness.”
Ji Ling: “…”
Actually, I just wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible, QAQ.
He had no choice but to follow Mr. Field. Fortunately, the man didn’t take him anywhere too fancy—just a Western restaurant near the school.
Sitting across from the man, Ji Ling felt like he was dining with a school administrator… And this was someone even their dean had to treat with respect! The worst part was that it kept making him think of that possessive and terrifying man from before…
Ji Ling sat in silence for a long time before finally pulling out his phone and texting Senior Yu: I have plans tonight, so I won’t be going to the cafeteria.
Although Yu Wenyan had never explicitly said anything, Ji Ling just felt like… maybe he was waiting for him. Even if he wasn’t, sending a message wouldn’t hurt. After all, if Yu really was waiting, it would feel like he was standing him up.
He put his phone down and looked up, only to meet the man’s deep, smiling gaze.
The man’s voice was low and pleasant as he patiently asked about Ji Ling’s food preferences, ordered for him, and even had fresh juice brought to the table.
Even though this was the best restaurant nearby, in Carlos’s eyes, it was still a rather simple place with an unimpressive menu—hardly worthy of the boy he cherished. But for now, he had no choice but to settle.
This world was nothing special. But at least… the boy loved it.
The boy seemed a little nervous, unwilling to lift his head to look at him, keeping his gaze down while eating. That cautious and obedient demeanor was exactly as he remembered…
In truth, the boy was very different from the arrogant and domineering original owner of this body. Perhaps it was only because he had never cared about what the original owner was like that he had overlooked their differences.
Back then, he had never imagined that someone could come from another world… or that his own world was nothing more than a fictional setting created by another’s pen.
But fortunately, you are real.
You are the only surprise and blessing the heavens have given me.
Carlos gazed at the boy, his heart brimming with love and tenderness. Unable to resist, he lifted a hand and gently wiped away a speck of food at the corner of the boy’s lips. As a result, the boy suddenly looked up, his dark and luminous eyes filled with confusion and innocence, like a small, defenseless creature.
He had no idea that the very thing he had been trying to avoid had already caught up to him.
Ji Ling felt the brush of the man’s fingertips against his lips. As he looked up at the man’s gentle face, he was suddenly reminded of that forceful and terrifying man—who had also always appeared refined and courteous, yet exuded an unyielding dominance.
Carlos…
Ji Ling’s fingers tightened around his fork, and he nervously pressed his lips together. Flashes of the past surfaced in his mind—Carlos’s coldness, his tenderness, his obsession, his sorrow… and finally, the moment Ji Ling died before him, the grief and agony in his eyes.
No matter how terrifying or ruthless this man was, his feelings for Ji Ling were undeniable.
Unfortunately, Ji Ling could never return those feelings…
A mix of guilt, sadness, and fear stirred within Ji Ling, his expression turning complicated. He averted his gaze, lowering his head to poke at his food, choosing to shrink back like a turtle retreating into its shell.
Carlos let out a soft sigh. No matter what he did or how much he changed, he could never erase the boy’s first impression of him.
But since I’ve already come to this world, how could I possibly give you up?
You are my one and only love.
………………
After dinner,
Ji Ling set down his utensils, feeling even more flustered and constrained by the chaotic thoughts in his mind. He said, “I’m finished. Thank you for the meal. I should head back now.”
Carlos stood up and picked up his coat from the chair. “I’ll walk you back.”
Ji Ling: “…”
Feeling dazed, Ji Ling followed the man back, occasionally sneaking glances at his side profile. He kept repeating to himself: Don’t overthink it! Sure, Mr. Field and Carlos are very similar, but his name isn’t Carlos, and his face and name are different, so he definitely isn’t Carlos.
He definitely isn’t…!
Walking side by side with the man, Ji Ling was so nervous that he didn’t even notice his own awkward, synchronized steps. It wasn’t his fault for being so scared—if someone like Carlos, a major villain, had come to this world, would he try to take it over? He really did resemble those overly dramatic movie villains…
ground. He twisted his ankle and stumbled forward with a yelp—only to crash straight into the man’s embrace. A pair of strong arms caught him firmly, and a deep, concerned voice whispered in his ear, “Be careful…”
Ji Ling’s face flushed red. He panicked and lifted his head, only to catch sight of another man standing at the dorm entrance. He froze for a moment. “Mr. Fu?”
Oh, no. Why is Mr. Fu here?!
Jing Sui leaned casually against the tree near the dorm entrance, his gaze icy as he looked ahead. He had been waiting here for a long time, just to catch a glimpse of the boy. Even though he knew the boy didn’t love him, he had still foolishly come.
And then, he saw the boy returning—side by side with Carlos.
Jing Sui recalled the other forces he had noticed while investigating the author of the novel. A cold glint flashed in his eyes. So, even after coming to this world, you still refuse to give up?
I’m not surprised in the least.
What lies do you plan to tell him this time?
Jing Sui’s lips curled into a mocking smile. His voice was slow, laced with biting sarcasm and chilling undertones. “Carlos Field, I thought you had already returned to your country.”
Ji Ling stared blankly at Jing Sui. His fingers clenched tightly, his whole body going rigid. He wondered if he had misheard.
Car—Carlos…
Impossible. Wasn’t his name Field?
A man who looked like Carlos, who was named Carlos…
Ji Ling’s pupils contracted slightly in shock. He lifted his gaze stiffly to look at the man before him, his lips trembling as a thought he had been desperately avoiding surged to the forefront of his mind. “You, you…”
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