She Become Sweet and Cuddly : Chapter 45

May 02, 2020 Oyen 21 Comments

There a little bit more flashback in this chapter~ enjoy!

Chapter 45

translator&editor: Oyen

She loved him, therefore she felt inferior. She loved him, so she wished he would get someone better. He was really good, she was not worthy of him. She was too inferior, all she could do was to run away from him, far away.

But no matter how she escaped, she was still in his encirclement.

She once drew a circle on her ground as a prison. She thought she would be imprisoned in this prison forever. She walked alone in her own darkness and didn't want anyone to come in and disturb her. But one day she found Yi Zeyan barging in, and he came in, bringing a beam of light to illuminate the deep darkness in front of her.

Taking her hands, walking step by step, and he finally led her out of the dark dungeon.

When her kindness was trampled over and over again, she once wanted to be a bad person. She was also feeling hurt when her kindness was trampled on by bad intention, she thought that being a bad person would make her life a little easier.

So, she abandoned her kindness and became cruel.

However, she couldn't be an absolute bad person after all. She couldn't be absolutely cruel to Yi Zeyan. Because of his existence, there was still a trace of kindness in her heart.

This kindness was finally awakened by him, and she finally recognized herself.

Lin Qingqing, with Yi Zeyan, you can't be a bad person in your life.

This trip took her a long time, the weather was very cold, but her heart was clear and bright, she figured it out, she figured everything out, and she wouldn't travel alone in the future.

It was a fine day when she went back, and neither Yi Zeyan nor her child were at home. Climbing to the attic, she sat on the roof. This was the place where she could see the whole scene of the villa garden.

About a year ago, they moved to the villa area, where she grew her favorite grapes and strawberries in the garden.

She saw the car coming in from the gate, and then Yi Zeyan and Xiao Yuan got off together.

Xiao Yuan had gone to kindergarten. Although she had avoided him over the years, she had watched him grow up silently. He was very good and always sat far away from her to tell stories.

Seeing his innocence and pure smile, she thought to herself, it was not too late, she had to begin loving him now, there was still time.

Xiao Yuan came over and soon found her sitting on the roof. Next to him, Yi Zeyan also saw her, but the smile on Yi Zeyan's face suddenly froze. Then he quickly ran into the door and appeared on the roof in a short time. Sitting on the roof of the attic, Lin Qingqing was half a floor away from him. Yi Zeyan came slowly and rushed at her cautiously. "Why are you here? What are you going to do? Come down quickly."

Lin Qingqing didn't know why he looked like this. Did he think she climbed here to commit suicide?

Yi Zeyan extended his hand to her. "Come down quickly, come down first if you want to say something."

Looking at the man in front of her, Lin Qingqing was a little speechless, but she was afraid that he was worried, so she didn't explain so much. She got up and came down. But at the moment, she was focused on the man in front of her. After so many days of traveling, she had already thought about it. She finally stepped out of her inferiority, and finally didn't force herself to be a bad person anymore, she wanted to be with him and lived well.

She wanted to be a good person for him, even if it was difficult, even if it would be long, but she wanted to give it a try.

She missed him very much, really missed him, and she also did not know if the wound on his head had healed. Seeing him, she could not help but focus her gaze on his face.

Distracted by this, she did not notice that the roof of the attic was in the shape of a small bungalow, so it was not very dangerous to stand on it, but she did not pay attention to her feet and slipped when she was about to jump down. She didn't stabilize herself and fell straight down.

Yi Zeyan quickly reached out and caught her, but the action missed a little, she failed to take his hand and fell to the ground and rolled around a few times. When she stopped, she hit her head on a flower pot on the roof of the building, probably made a cut, and suddenly blood flowed from the top of her head.

Running over, Yi Zeyan was frightened to see the blood from her head. Reaching out to support her, but unexpectedly he shook his head, kneeling and coughing heavily. Then, he spit out a mouthful of blood.

Hitting her head, Lin Qingqing was a little dizzy. Seeing him spitting blood, she was very worried, and wanted to ask him what was wrong, but her eyes gradually blurred. She heard him call her a few times, and then she lost consciousness.
(T/N: this is the end of the flashback~)

Wintersweets were planted in the courtyard behind the hospital. The flowers bloomed and gave away a light fragrant smell. Lin Qingqing stood under the wintersweet tree, her fingers gently touching the budding flowers.

These days, Yi Zeyan had been staying at the bedside. Early in the morning, he went out to receive a phone call, but when he came back, there was no one in the hospital bed. Why wasn’t she in bed? Without his permission, no one dared to move her. Was she awake?

Yi Zeyan was excited but also very worried, he went to ask the nurse on duty. The nurse told him that Mrs. Yi went to the hospital's backyard, so Yi Zeyan hurriedly went there.

Walking through the winding corridor, he did see her standing in the courtyard. At last, Yi Zeyan was relieved.

"The weather outside is cold, why did you come out with little clothes on?"

Hearing this voice, Lin Qingqing turned around to look. The man walked slowly towards her, his eyebrows slightly frowned with worry. Lin Qingqing looked at him, and the scenes of the past were played back in her mind, feeling the sourness in her nose.

This man was her favourite, and also the one that she owed the most.

Before she lost her memory, she wanted to accept his kindness and wanted to be with him, but her heart was uneasy. After all the harm she had done to him, could he really accept her? Could they really still be together?

But after so many days of getting along with him, she understood that they could really love each other. He could really be with her regardless of everything in the past. As long as she was willing to take a step in front of him, he could take the ninety-nine steps.

Yi Zeyan… she really thought he was foolish.

He walked forward, took off his coat and put it over her. "Are you feeling better?" he asked. "Is there anything uncomfortable?"

Lin Qingqing shook her head. "No, I’m all good."

"Let’s go in first, I’ll let the doctor examine you."

"Okay."

Lin Qingqing followed him to go in, and the doctor examined her again. Except for the bruise on her head, there was no big problem.

Since there was no big problem, Lin Qingqing also didn't want to stay in the hospital, so she let Yi Zeyan do the formality for her to be discharged.

When they came out of the hospital building, Lin Qingqing saw a person being stopped at the gate. As soon as the person saw them, suddenly pushing the two people who stopped her away and staggered in.

Running close to Lin Qingqing, she finally looked at her appearance.

It was Lu Wenqian, but, how did she become like this?

Lu Wenqian was radiant every time she appeared in front of people. She had a kind of refinement and superiority all over her body, which made people know that this person must be a first class lady with a good birth.

But now, seeing her disheveled hair, with a bare-face, and the clothes on her body were wrinkled, and it seemed that she had not changed them for many days.

She ran over and knelt down in front of Yi Zeyan, her eyes red with tears and full of despair.

"Where have you taken my brother? Will you give him back to me? I obediently listen to you, and I will never do anything wrong again. Give me back my brother, give him back to me!"

To be honest, if she didn't look carefully, she really didn't recognize that the person in front of her was Lu Wenqian, the spoiled young lady, and still looked arrogant even in front of Yi Zeyan's mother. But at the moment, she knelt in front of Yi Zeyan, completely lost her arrogant and domineering appearance in the past, and she was so humble that she pleaded with every word.

Yi Zeyan looked at her with no pity. "I warned you a long time ago, but you just didn't listen. If you had known it would become like this, you should not do it in the first place. You should have known me, I never changed what I already decided."

Tears constantly flowed down, Lu Wenqian’s voice became hoarse. "Is my brother dead? You tell me, is my brother already dead? Yi Zeyan, I only have my brother, will you give him back to me? I only have him."

Yi Zeyan didn’t move too much, so Lu Wenqian went to Lin Qingqing on her knees. She kept kowtowing on the ground. "I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong." After kowtowing three times in a row, Lu Wenqian hugged Lin Qingqing's leg and added. "Zeyan listens to you the most. Will you beg him for me? I really know I'm wrong. I'll never do anything to hurt you again. Will you beg him for me?"

Lin Qingqing was so surprised to see Lu Wenqian become like this, her change was really too big. Before this, she was the one to reach the goal by any means, colluding with her brother to deal with her, a big miss who was not afraid of anything. Suddenly, she became so messy, kowtowed to her regardless of dignity.

What exactly had happened during the days of her coma.

Yi Zeyan motioned the bodyguards to pull her away. Coming forward, the bodyguards pulled Liu Wenqian away. Yi Zeyan added. "Your brother will not come back. Everyone will pay for their mistake. You made a mistake, this is your punishment."

“No! No! Yi Zeyan, I don’t want it! Give my brother back to me, give him back to me. I promise that we will go far away and never appear here again, give him back to me! Give him back!”

She shouted herself hoarse, cried as if she was out of breath.

"I already told you once, to let you know your place. It was yourself that didn’t listen, I already gave you a chance, right?"

After speaking, Yi Zeyan left with his arm around Lin Qingqing. Both of them walked away, while Lu Wenqian still cried behind, still wailing and pleading, sadly and mournful.

On the plane, Lin Qingqing asked him. "Where is Lu Xiuyuan?"

"I don’t know."

"..."

"I really don’t know, I only know that he will never come back here again."

Lin Qingqing didn’t ask more.

They were on Yi Zeyan's private jet. The luxurious and spacious cabin was very quiet and there were just two of them. Lin Qingqing held his hand and leaned on him. She didn't want to do anything, as long as he was by her side.

They both went to Lin Zhenzhen’s house to pick Xiao Yuan, and it was afternoon when they arrived at the Peace Restaurant. It was not time for a meal yet, and there was no one in the store. Her elder sister sat on one side to study cross-stitch, while Xiao Yuan sat in a chair to drink a cup of milk tea.

The chair was very big, which made the child look smaller like a ball. He sat facing the door directly, seeing his parents coming in, he felt very happy. His eyes were lit up and ran over with his short legs.

Lin Qingqing walked over to carry him up, the little guy put his little arms around her neck, sweetly called. "Mom."

By forgetting everything, Lin Qingqing could focus on loving him well, but with memory, recalling the relationship that established during pregnancy, the pain from giving birth, when breastfeeding and her cold treatment to him.

At the moment, her heart became heavy, and she wanted to cry as soon as she smelled him.

Holding back her tears, Lin Qingqing hugged him for a while before putting him down. Lin Zhenzhen also walked forward and asked. "Why did you go so long this time?" Seeing the gauze wrapped around her head, she continued. "Are you injured?"

Seeing the injury on his mother's head, Xiao Yuan’s pair of big eyes looked worriedly at her. Lin Qingqing rubbed his head and reassured him. "t’s just a small skin injury."

Lin Zhenzhen breathed a sigh of relief.

Lin Qingqing quickly told Yi Zeyan. "You and Xiao Yuan, wait for me downstairs for a while. I want to talk to my elder sister."

"Okay." Yi Zeyan didn’t ask much.

Lin Qingqing and Lin Zhenzhen went upstairs, but Lin Zhenzhen was still uneasy and asked. "What happened to the injury on your head?"

"It's really nothing. It's just a bruise."

"How did you get it?"

"Accidentally knocked it."

"..." Lin Zhenzhen stopped asking, "what do you want to say to me?"

Lowering her head, Lin Qingqing pondered a little before saying. “In fact, I have always had a question about why I was here when I woke up. Aren't Zeyan and I husband and wife? I was injured and should wake up at home with Zeyan even if I wasn't in the hospital. Why was I here?”

"Why do you want to ask this?"

"I’m just curious."

Evading her eyes, Lin Zhenzhen replied. "You missed me, so you came back here for several days. You weren't careful, accidentally falling down and knocking your head. Of course, you wake up here."

Lin Qingqing knew that her elder sister was lying to her. After her amnesia, she and Yi Zeyan hid a lot of important things together. For example, they never told her that her vocal cord injury was because she went to the fire to save a person, nor did they tell her that her relationship with Yi Zeyan was because she was drugged.

She guessed that they didn’t want to tell her, maybe they were afraid these things touched her memories, because those things were the cause of her distorted character. All the things in the past were heavy and painful for her, so they didn’t want her to think about it.

"You don’t have to lie about it anymore, I already remember it all."

Lin Qingqing said it lightly. Hearing these words, Lin Zhenzhen was shocked, turned to look at her for a while before replying. "You said.. you remember?"

"En, I already remember it."

With a worried face, Lin Zhenzhen held her shoulder. "You… are you alright?"

Lin Qingqing smiled at her. "I’m fine, I just want to know about something, so I came to ask you."

"Does Zeyan know that you remember?"

"He doesn’t know."

"..."

Lin Zhenzhen didn’t speak, frowning and pacing for a while, asking her. "Aren’t you going to tell him?"

"Not for the time being."

Sighed heavily, Lin Zhenzhen sat on the chair. "At that time, your head was injured. The doctor checked that you were okay, but you were still in a coma. Zeyan thought you were going to commit suicide at that time. He was afraid that you would not be able to think clearly again when you woke up, so he decided to divorce you at that time. Later, thinking that you were alright, he asked me to bring you back directly and bring you the divorce agreement when you woke up. He thought you would be happier when you saw that you were not at that home."

Lin Qingqing nodded, similar to what she had guessed.

"I remember he vomited blood after I fell, is he alright?"

"The doctor said it was anxiety that caused the vomiting of blood."

Anxious? Lin Qingqing smiled bitterly, it seemed she always made him anxious.

"What did the doctor say at that time? Is the problem big?"

Lin Zhenzhen replied. "At that time, he was preoccupied with you, but I advised him to have an examination. Everything was checked, but it was not a big problem. The doctor prescribed medicine, and there was no problem after that."

Hearing this, Lin Qingqing was relieved.

Coming down from the upstairs, Lin Qingqing rode back with the father and son. Along the way, Yi Zeyan didn't ask her about what she said with her elder sister. Lin Qingqing also behaved very calmly and was no different from usual.

After arriving home, Yi Beiyuan took a story book and rushed out to Lin Qingqing. "Mom has been away for many days. The story I told at that time hadn’t been finished yet, shall I continue?"

Lin Qingqing nodded. "Okay."

Lin Qingqing sat on the carpet, and Yi Beiyuan took out his storybook, sat cross-legged in front of her, opened the pages, and pointed his finger at the words in the book to read one by one.

Xiao Yuan was an early learner that could recognize some ordinary words.

"Once, upon, a, time, there, is, one, small, fox..."

Word by word, he read out not very fluently.

He used to be like this too, sitting far away from her, either telling her stories or playing building blocks. Knowing that his mother didn't like to be close to him, so he obediently didn't approach her, but he still wanted to stay with his mother and just sit far away.

At that time, she was lying on the bed with her back to him, listening to him read out the story he wanted to tell her word by word.

"Is Xiao Yuan not good enough? Why doesn't mommy like Xiao Yuan?"

Once, he asked her this question. On her birthday that day, he made a small gift for her with his own hands. She had mixed feelings about it, but told him not to make anymore gifts for her in the future, then he asked this.

Her heart was full of guilt, as if clenched by a hand, which made her uncomfortable.

Too many feelings came up all of a sudden, and she couldn't help it. She reached out and picked him up, letting him sit on her lap. Xiao Yan was confused and told her. "Mom, I haven't finished reading yet."

"It doesn’t matter, read it later."

Recognizing her tone of voice had changed, he asked her. "Mom, what’s wrong?"

Holding him, she kissed his face, and the tears rolled down.

"Xiao Yuan, you know, when mommy gave birth to you, I was so happy that I gave birth to a lovely child. At that time, you were so tender and young, and mommy wanted to be a warrior that can protect Xiao Yuan. Mommy wanted to protect you in her arms, mommy really loves you, loves you very much. But later, mommy experienced something and got stimulated. Mommy became so inferior and felt that she was not qualified to be Xiao Yuan’s mommy. Because of too low self-esteem, mommy wanted to hide away. Mommy thought that she would leave sooner or later. Instead of letting Xiao Yuan reluctant to give later, she might as well let Xiao Yuan not like his mommy. Mommy was really stupid back then."

Lin Qingqing held her son's face. "Why do I want to hurt my child in this way? Mommy is so stupid."

Looking at her foolishly, the little guy called with uncertainty. "Mom?"

Yi Zeyan was sitting on the sofa drinking coffee. Hearing her words, his hand shook and the coffee cup fell to the ground. The white carpet was instantly stained with brown coffee, but he didn't realize it. Seemingly to have been struck by thunder, he looked straight at Lin Qingqing and stood up subconsciously.

Lin Qingqing continued, still holding her young child's face and gently kissed him on the forehead. "Sorry, mommy made a mistake and was too stupid. I'm sorry, Xiao Yuan. Will you forgive mommy? Forgive mom, okay? I'm really sorry. Mommy never didn't love you. Mommy's way was wrong. Mommy shouldn't stay away from Xiao Yuan and should stay with Xiao Yuan all the time, I'm sorry..."

Perhaps Lin Qingqing's surging tears scared him. Xiao Yuan rushed to help her wipe away the tears, but could not help crying. "Mommy don't cry, mommy don't cry. Xiao Yuan doesn't blame mom."

She remembered that this was also the case at that time. He came to her on an unsteady step and called her in an inarticulate and immature voice. "Ma Ma don’t cry, Xiao Yuan loves Ma Ma."

Telling her over and over again that he loved his ma ma, and comforting her not to cry.

Thinking of this, her tears became more uncontrollable.

Burying her head on her son’s shoulder, she held it back for fear that she would burst into tears the next moment.

Without his knowing, Yi Zeyan was already approaching the mother and child. With a dignified face, gazing at the woman without blinking.

Why did she suddenly speak about these?

Sensing Yi Zeyan's approach, Lin Qingqing slowly looked up at him. He couldn't take his eyes off her, with a complicated look in his deep gaze.

In fact, she didn’t want Yi Zeyan to know that she remembered. Now, they got along very well, by letting him know, she didn’t know how to face him.

But, as soon as she saw Xiao Yuan and thought about the past. She couldn’t help it.

Probably, he already guessed it…

Wiping her face randomly, she faced him with a forced, bitter smile. "Yi Zeyan, I remember it all."

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21 comments:

AriefyanaMay 2, 2020 at 4:06 PM
Thank you for update :-)
This chapter so sad :')
D2MMay 2, 2020 at 4:11 PM
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Ahem.

I went back and reread some of the early chapters and was like: this makes way more sense now.....
YunikkuMay 2, 2020 at 4:11 PM
Uoooooooo! So sweet! Thanks for the new chapter <3
twoMay 2, 2020 at 6:00 PM
Thank you for the update.
UnknownMay 2, 2020 at 7:08 PM
Thanks for the chapter! I hope there is no unnecessary drama next chapter and they both just express their feelings for each other are true and be done with it haha

Stay safe!
EastwindMay 2, 2020 at 7:08 PM
Brilliant! Everything fits! I wanna cry T.T
UnknownMay 3, 2020 at 4:50 AM
I CRIED SO MUCH AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY STILL WON'T STOP FALLING!!!! I like how the reveal of her regaining her memories happened soon than later. It kept the momentum and the importance of her regaining her memory.
LunaRainMay 4, 2020 at 12:09 PM
QAQ I'm crying, I cannot blame Qingqing for being like that in the past. She was stimulated by her environment, would she be like that if her father, stepmother and half-sister didn't trample on her? Would she be like that if Zeyan's mother didn't antagonize her 1st, especially during a delicate time... her being pregnant?
LunaRainMay 4, 2020 at 12:11 PM
and for Lu Wenqian, there is only one thing I can say to you... Regret is always at the end and there is no cure for it.
AynaJuly 31, 2020 at 3:53 PM
poor yzy must be shook and scared that qingqing would hate him again. but NO SHE HAVE NEVER HATED YOU SHE LOVES YOU SM THAT SHE FELT THAT SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU ㅠㅠ
WorldLoverJune 26, 2021 at 3:46 PM
I just knew the water dam will broke once she faced Xiao Yuan again. She is so strong to not break down in the restaurant but until they reached home. Ahhh home. Qingqing at long last has reached her home. I am happy for the family of three yet I am still crying.
BookwormieNovember 15, 2021 at 7:24 PM
I didn't expect to sweat my eyes with this one... Brilliant, this is the pure emotions of regret that mostly missing on transmigrated mothers bc they got diff souls from OG owners.